It seems to me that the waters are getting muddy as a myriad of things are being redefined and labeled incorrectly.
Yes, we can believe it’s not butter.
And we also don’t buy that wearing a mask and masking our children is the most pro-life thing we can do.
I have taught my children that at its most basic level the pro-life position is that each person has an inherent dignity and the right to exist without having their freedom to do so impeded. I tell my kids that they are valuable and they are a force for good in the world, that their existence is celebrated not only by me but by the world itself and by the God who made and loves them.
How is that message compatible with, “By your very living and breathing you are a danger to the world. Your very breath could literally kill someone without you knowing it. So, put a mask on and hide your face”?
Today I deactivated Facebook. I have been on Facebook since around 2006, I think. Today I broke free.
It actually had little to nothing to do with terms and conditions or people who talk about politics too much or the variety of “Karens” in my feed. It was something else.
What I am feeling about the world, about my life, about my country, my freedoms, my beautiful Church….I can do nothing about so many things that disturb my heart and rob my peace. But one thing I can do is find out what they each want from me and show up. It is this showing up in my life and for myself of my own freewill…
It is this being unafraid to see the world around me as a mirror of my interior life or lack thereof…
It is the desire to set dragons free to be princesses, even if the only dragon I can free is my own tethered heart…
“We, however, are not prisoners. No traps or snares are set about us, and there is nothing which should intimidate or worry us. We are set down in life as in the element to which we best correspond, and over and above this we have through thousands of year of accommodation become so like this life, that when we hold still we are, through a happy mimicry, scarcely to be distinguished from all that surrounds us. We have no reason to mistrust our world, for it is not against us. Has it terrors, they are our terrors; has it abysses, those abysses belong to us; are dangers at hand, we must try to love them. And if only we arrange our life according to that principle which counsels us that we must always hold to the difficult, then that which now still seems to us the most alien will become what we most trust and find most faithful. How should we be able to forget those ancient myths that are at the beginning of all peoples, the myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.”(Rainer Maria Rilke)
I am not going to lie. This was going to be an angry rant. A very angry, passionate, spitfire rant—full of the full piss and vinegar of my personality.
But I gave it a few days. I now feel more sad than angry. And what I want to express is more the grieving of my heart which has more tenderness and brokenness than fisticuffs.
Let’s chat over a cup of coffee and let our tears pour out, trusting God to gather them up and turn them into an intercession.
Last night I got to share my conversion story with the women’s group at my parish. It was the first time I have given my testimony in a public way. It was a blessing to be able to share my excitement and the honor I feel in being Catholic.
(I apologize for how fast I talk and for hand movements that when seen without the audio look something like interpretive dance.)
I got there early, one of the first, because my son was serving at the altar and my daughter was singing with the cantor.
I sat in the back and prayed. Breathing deeply I took in the stained glass windows, the wood work, the altar piece. And I watched people come in. Old people who wore their grief like a garment. High schoolers fidgeting uncomfortably in dress clothes they scarcely ever wear. Friends embraced each other in the knowing without the telling. Then we sat in near silence. Just me and hundreds of other people. Sitting in the grief. Continue reading
I readily admit that mercy makes me uncomfortable. By its very nature it’s unfair, so it rubs me the wrong way, except when I need it. Mercy doesn’t feel as much like a warm blanket as it does a thorn in the side.
The thing about Christianity is that it turns our notions about the world and about ourselves upside down. It says that beggars have a place at the table. That the unworthy get an equal share. Sinners are welcomed. And not just welcomed; being a sinner is your ticket in.
Now, I might not care much for your particular breed of sin. Your proclivities may make be squirm. Or rage. On the Daja Sin-Scale the evil that abides in your heart is 100x worse than the evil that abides in mine. But looking at the cross, I must confess that Jesus doesn’t use my sin-scale. That radical confrontation with Jesus puts to death the notions of my own goodness. Continue reading
It’s been a long, agonizing, beautiful, fulfilling, challenging, lovely journey. And it’s only just beginning. Lead us Lord, deeper into You.
Easter Vigil 2016. My two oldest children and I were received into full-communion in the Catholic Church. Confirmation and First Eucharist. Jesus, You were worth the wait.Continue reading
About a year ago I was talking on the phone to an old friend from Mongolia. In the course of conversation she asked if we were still going to the same church we had been attending the last time she came for a visit. I said, “No, actually, we have been going to St. Therese Catholic Church.” She literally gasped. “WHY?????” she asked with every ounce of incredulity.
Recently another old friend came to visit. And mentioned that since we had last visited I had become Catholic. He said that there would be time for me to explain myself during the visit.
I know this is just the beginning. People are genuinely interested and honestly curious as to why I would choose this. So, I thought I’d sort of break down my top reasons for joining the Church and dispel any misconceptions as well. Continue reading
reconciling things 