If I start throwing a pity party and invite my oldest daughter she will make me a playlist to fit my mood and bring dark chocolate. If I tell my oldest son he will pour shots of tequila and make a toast using the words of Rilke about calling forth my life’s beauty. If I tell my next son he will swear appropriately and ask if I need money. If my next son Captain there will be hot chai with oatmilk. If I tell my bestie Kristy she will tell me to do some breathing exercises focusing on the true, good, and beautiful. She will say she is proud of me. If I tell my friend Emily she will say something ironically judgy and tell me I’m pretty. She is always a whole vibe. If I tell my friend Jeff he will tell me to immediately name three things for which I am thankful and he will set his alarm to pray for me consistently. If I tell my friend Jimmy he will say “Follow strength. If you want to be strong, do the strong thing.” If I invite Isaac there will be memes and so much active listening it’s like emotional cardio. If I tell Phil the musician he will send me angry music to blast and drop an F-bomb, which somehow always makes me feel better. If I tell Maureen she will say a flying Novena to St. Joseph. If I invite Mazel to the party she will bring French fries and scotch.