reconciling things

Today is the feast of the beheading of St. John the Baptist.

Just to set the scene: John is in prison for criticizing Herod’s illicit and invalid marriage to his brother’s wife. Rotting there in the Roman prison John sent word to his cousin, Jesus. “Are you the one, or should I look for another?”

It’s remarkable because John is the baptizer. He stood in the Jordan as it was alight with the Holy Spirit, baptizing Jesus, the man whose sandals he was not worthy to untie, while the voice of God the Father boomed his eternal approval. John is the witness who proclaimed in the wilderness, shouting like a madman, “Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” If anyone had confidence in Jesus’ identity and mission, it was John, the forerunner, correct?

Yet, in prison, he takes time to double check. Just to be sure. It is as if he was saying, “Lord, I am willing to lose my head for you. But I just want to hear it from you straight. Are you the one???” I feel like Jesus understood this. He was a carpenter remember? Likely he was familiar with the concept of “measure twice; cut once.”

Then the fateful day came when Herod’s brother’s wife’s daughter (his stepdaughter/niece?) dances before his company of rowdy friends and she pleases him. He says he’ll grant her whatever she asks for. Prompted by her mother she asks for John’s head on a platter.

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” When John said these prophetic words (John 3:30) do you think he knew it would be quite so literal?

A Patron For Our Time

The Apostle Thomas gets called “Doubting Thomas” because he demanded to see and to touch our Lord in his wounds. John the Baptizer seems to get a pass for needing that extra reassurance. I think he is a patron for our time, for those of us who are willing to do the most in a culture that many have said is no longer even post-Christian, but pre-Christian, if only we are sure and reassured. We are willing to lay down our lives, our reputations, our heads. Just tell me, Lord, are you the one? Will you catch my head when it falls?

I think we often cultivate a lot of shame in our hearts that are already so fragile. If we doubt, if we question, if we look before we leap, then we think that the Lord is ready to condemn. But in the case of St. Thomas, Jesus offers an invitation instead. “Place your hand in my side.” He invites a radical encounter. His response to the questions was increased intimacy. After this encounter St. Thomas goes to India and evangelizes the East until he is martyred, being pierced by a sword in 72AD. Which is a beautiful irony, after he put his hand in the side of the Lord also pierced by a sword.

When St. John the Baptist questions Jesus, he gets a special message first, “Go and tell John what you hear and see: the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor have good news brought to them. And blessed is anyone who takes no offense at me.”

And then there is an entire discourse in praise the John’s faith and mission in which Jesus tells the crowds, “Truly I tell you, among those born of women no one has arisen greater than John the Baptist; yet the least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.” Then he tells the crowds that they are a pretty worthless generation that doesn’t know when to dance and when to mourn. A patron for our time, indeed.

What to do with a doubt

I don’t think the question is what to do if we doubt, but rather when we doubt. When those midnight insecurities creep in, when you second guess your radical steps of faith, or just when you don’t quite feel the loving tenderness you know the Lord has for you, what do you do with those feelings–or lack of feelings?

I suggest you take a cue from the patron saints of second thoughts, Thomas and John. Go to Jesus. Ask to touch his wounds. Ask to hear the truth from him. And when you do touch him and hear from him, do not be like this generation, who doesn’t know what to do when confronted with truth, goodness, and beauty.

If the flute plays, dance.

If there is wailing, mourn.

Happy Feast Day to the greatest born of woman! Intercede for us St. John the Forerunner. Teach us to be fanatics and to make our doubts into proclamations of holy faith.