reconciling things

“Allow it all to happen: beauty and terror…” Rilke

The Moral Issues

littlesisterofhildegard

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March 5, 2015

Long before I even considered becoming Catholic, I found that on moral issues I was in the Catholic camp more often than not.  For some reason, in my own Protestant churches, I could not find a lot of common ground on some things I considered very important.

Such as: the indissolubility of marriage, abortion, birth control, the death penalty, euthanasia, obligations to the poor and to works of charity, etc.

On moral issues I found my leaders strangely silent and when they did speak out, it was….soft. To say the least. It was as if they were afraid to really come out and say, “These things: x,y,z, are moral evils. These things are sin.” Protestants find a lot of grey where the Scripture and Sacred Tradition is pretty black and white. Continue reading

Be Reconciled

littlesisterofhildegard

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March 3, 2015

A year ago there began a really intense longing in me for the Sacrament of Confession. Which is an odd thing for a, then, Protestant to so greatly desire. After all, I can confess my sins directly to Jesus (and of course we should). Such an antiquated idea that we need to confess our sins to any man. Continue reading

The Greats and Real Christians

littlesisterofhildegard

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February 24, 2015

I read Brother Lawrence’s The Practice of the Presence of God when I was a seventeen, I think. It quickly became one of my treasured books. I read A Man For All Seasons and watched the movie. St. Thomas More was the man! I read Tolkein and Lewis. At my wedding my Bridesmaids carried the Prayer of St. Francis in the language of flowers and herbs and the prayer was written in the wedding program. Shortly after I got married I read St. Augustine’s Confessions. I wanted to name my next son Augustine, but my husband vetoed that. I read St. Basil The Great and how he defended the church against heresy, how he wouldn’t embrace unity at the price of orthodoxy. I wanted to name my next son Basil. Too artsy-fartsy, my husband said. (and he’s probably right…)

When Mother Teresa died I kept the newspapers that announced her death and reported on her funeral. She was my hero. Continue reading

Longing

littlesisterofhildegard

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February 23, 2015

As I have mentioned in previous posts, this process of conversion can be gut-wrenchingly difficult. Knowing Jesus more and more brings with it an increased longing for more of Him. It’s Divine Dissatisfaction.  I have found that I am OK through most of the Mass, but get to Communion and I turn into a puddly mess. And my soul cries out.

I shared this with my priest and he comforted me with this thought: Continue reading

It’s too difficult

littlesisterofhildegard

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February 9, 2015

I am not worthy that You come under my roof. Only say the word and my soul will be healed.

Today in Mass, I knelt there watching and listening to the priest say the words of consecration. And my heart started to break.  We went forward for Communion, not receiving, as usual. I bowed before the Eucharist and Father Philip blessed me. And I wept. I wept, I wept. I went back to our seats, knelt and wept some more. Continue reading

Kisses from Jesus

littlesisterofhildegard

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January 27, 2015

A week or so ago I found myself sort of….well discouraged with my journey.  I felt like I was in no-man’s land.  I asked St. Therese to pray for me and if possible to send me a sign.

On Sunday we went to St. Therese church, as has been our habit.  And the kisses from Jesus started coming.  First we sat behind a whole row of Missionaries of Charity in the blue and white saris.  They were so joyful and lovely I wanted to exchange a sign of peace with all of them.  And resisted the urge to invite myself over after church.  They were radiant. (They are like the rock stars of religious life for me.)

The homily was powerful, powerful, powerful and left me in tears. Continue reading

The purpose of the service

littlesisterofhildegard

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January 2, 2015

I have been a worship leader and a pastor.  In Protestant non-liturgical churches there is often a disconnect between worship leaders and pastors.

Generally speaking worship leaders see the most important part of the Sunday service as the “worship”–meaning the singing and the pouring of one’s heart out to God.  The music, no-doubt, takes up the bulk of the service, say 45 minutes or even more. A service in which the Holy Spirit really moves, the sermon may be skipped altogether as we spend the whole time in worship.

Pastors, on the other hand, generally see the preaching of the Word as the most important part of the service.  When the Word is preached and people receive revelation for their lives….that’s the good stuff.  The “worship” (meaning, again, the singing) serves to prepare people to receive the message. Continue reading

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